Easter and stuff :D

So, I feel compelled to write about our Easter. It was fun, but very hectic and I am glad to be home! Friday we had some friends out. This happens every other week most of the time, but lately it has been every week. They came out and we had a few drinks and laughs. They left about 2 and we went to bed about 4. We got up at 8 on Saturday to head to the parents house. We got there, had to do some hauling for my dad, then took the kids on an Easter scavenger hunt (they are both too old for Easter egg hunts). We went back to the parents, rested for a while, had dinner, then went to dh's cousin's house. This was an interesting visit. He is a very difficult man to get along with at the best of times as he has a very low view of women in general, and especially his wife. Anyway, we left there at 11:30, went back to parents and did Easter baskets, got up Sunday, hid eggs (for the last time, unless we have another one!), loaded about a zillion decorative bricks in our truck, ate lunch, came home, PASSED OUT! :D

So my dh got up this morning with the idea of getting all the bricks unloaded, but it was raining and icky, so that will obviously have to wait. He is not very happy about this, but it is life. The kids are on spring break and driving me insane. My teenager told me in no uncertain terms that I don't care about her and her life, I am a terrible mom, and on and on. The problem is, she is 16 and wants to get a job. Okay, I get that, but she doesn't have her license! I cannot be responsible for her every day this summer, and until she drives better, and is closer to getting her license, NO JOB!

So, for me, it is a great thing that the kids go back to school tomorrow. I am exhausted!

Ex-families, drama, etc.

So, this is not a weight related post, though there will be an update at the end :D

How do you relate to an ex's family who you haven't spoken to in 6 years without discussing the ex? See, I have a son who VERY rarely (every 2-3 years) sees or speaks to his dad. Well, he is almost 11, and so I was playing on facebook and found his grandpa, and thought (in my stupid, slow brain) that it would be a great idea to talk to him again. Now here is the question, what do you say? He made a comment on his facebook before I found him that he has lots of other grandkids but no recent pictures. I know that my ex has a picture of him from Christmas 2007, so do they just not talk, how do you find this stuff out?

On another drama front, my middle son hates me! He went to live with his dad about a year ago and he wanted to come down for spring break, well it is an 9 hour drive one way. So I told his dad 2 weeks in advance that we could meet halfway on Friday or Saturday. On Thursday his wife calls my dad to change plans. WTF? Really? So I spent all weekend trying to work out a way to go get him in between work schedules, visitations, etc. and no matter what I did his dad wouldn't do it. SOOOO its my fault. Gotta love it!

Anyway, on the weight loss front, I have not weighed this week cuz its, ya know, that time. However, I was steady at 244 last time I weighed about a week ago! So that takes off all the funeral weight and stuff because I got lazy. I also purchased Hip Hop Abs from the internet because my husband and daughter think that would be a great purchase, so we shall see. It should be here by this weekend, which means I start on Monday because I will be out of town before that....

That's all from the funny farm.

This is not a paid advertisement :)

So, for all of my friends out there who are "stuck" like I was, I want to tell you that Lipo-6 Hers is working for me. I do not regularly buy "diet drugs" but I was definitely looking for something to boost my energy. I cannot drink anything with artificial sweetener, so all those energy drinks are out of the question, though my husband swears by them.

I have lost 5 pounds since last Wednesday as of this morning. This makes me not hungry and it gives me a needed energy boost. I am still not back where I started, but I am 2 pounds away so hopefully in the next week or so. What I LOVE LOVE LOVE is that I have the energy to work out, and it really does suppress my appetite.

I do not think that this is necessarily for everyone, and it is not a long term option for me, but it just seems like the cycle goes no energy, lazy, eat more, workout less, gain weight, start over. I am so tired of this I was willing to try anything! My hope is I can lose 15 to 20 pounds on this, get my energy level up naturally, and then wean off and do it all on my own.

In other news, I am going to try to figure out how to get some pics up that my dh took of me yesterday. They are not attractive, but they are an honest look at where I am starting, and it scared even me.

Gardening sucks

Have you ever tried to lay out a garden with your dh? We did that a few years ago, and this year decided to extend. My buddy Bruce told me that it was a good time to plant onions, so my dh is setting up the new extension to our garden. Here is the thing... ITS NOT STRAIGHT! It will go in a straight line, it has to for the fence, but it is not a 90 degree angle. I should have remembered that last time we did this, the other end was not done right, but I forgot, so we are trying again. The damn thing is, when I tell him it is not straight, he argues with me. I give up, its whatever, do what you are gonna do, ya know?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

The other thing that bothers me so much is that I have a job, it may be a job at home, but I GET PAID to do it. So it drives me so crazy that he thinks that at any given time, on any given day, I can get up, help him with the garden, check out the latest and greatest thing on tv, or have sex. Nope, it doesn't work that way. If I don't work, I don't get paid. So it is not in my best interest to be outside for 30 minutes fighting with my husband about the corners of the garden. The good thing is we live in the country, so no one was listening to me yell!

Some peace and quiet, and good news!

So, I just got done working on the treadmill. I call it working because it is somewhere between a walk and a run, my goal is to get to 0.5 mile as fast as I can. Today I did it in 11:00! That ROCKS for me! Not too long ago just a few minutes on the treadmill and I thought I was dying. :D

I did my ab ball workout today and yesterday, so I am getting better, but now it is starting to hurt. My muscles just don't understand what I am doing to them right now!

Anyway, the kids are in their rooms, one is asleep! My husband is at work, and until my teenager comes out to have mom time, I get some peace and quiet. This is quite strange in my house (see previous post).

The kitties have settled quite nicely. My dh came home last night and the one we call Killer meowed, growled and hissed all while getting petted and obviously enjoying it. This morning he started following my husband around and trying to climb his leg if he wanted more attention. It is so cute!

I will have to figure out how to post pictures on here, I have a couple of kitty pictures that are just adorable, and the pictures of my pit bull. (Please no negative pit bull comments, I have one, he is our baby, and we love him!)

Anyway, all in all it has been a great day around here.

Duh! The best news of the night is that pretty soon dh and I may have the same days off! That is very exciting as it has been a long time since we have both had jobs and had the same days off. The hours will still suck (he works 3:30-11:30 pm) but at least we can travel a little and enjoy our time off together.

Do you get to go to the bathroom by yourself?

Cuz I sure don't! I am not sure why I am posting this here, I guess because it is my forum to bitch and whine when I can't get ahold of anyone who understands.

I was in the bathroom yesterday and today and realized that it has probably been 10 years since I have gone to the bathroom without anyone coming in and interrupting me. Really! I can't seem to get 5 minutes alone and it is driving me insane!

Other crazy goings on, we have added 2 new cats to our household. They are not kittens, they are full grown, neutered (as are most of the males in this house :D) fat cats. I have wanted cats for a while, but my husband kept telling me no. Finally I said that's what I am doing and started the search. These cats have grown up together, been in the same household for 5 years, and I am not sure how well they are going to do here. I had to call the previous owner to get one of them out of the VAN! They are declawed, so I wasn't overly worried about getting hurt, but he was seriously traumatized, and every time I go in there to pet him he will let me, but he growls when I do, it is so strange, but kindof funny.

I got a new Ab Ball. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these! I have back problems, so this is an easy way to get in my stretching and ab exercises! As soon as I catch up on the happenings here I am getting back on the treadmill, doing another round of bench press/arm exercises, and doing my workout. My house looks more like a gym than a house right now, but we are making it work, cuz damnit its going to happen!

My husband is also getting in shape along with me, although he doesn't really have to try too hard, just has to remember to get his workout done. He can already see results, but I haven't been able to just yet.

Oh well, time to keep plugging away.

And day 2....

So day 2 of the new plan with good expectations but not overwhelming goals seems to be going well. I got on the treadmill again today, just once so far, and was on it for 10 minutes at almost 3 mph! I am also doing okay on my diet. Today is the best I have done so far, and I have been doing the Slim-Fast for a couple of weeks now. My kids don't understand why mom wants all the junk out of the house! The teenager is the worst about it because she has her own money and she will spend it all on junk if I let her. I have tried and tried to teach that girl good eating, but it just doesn't sink in anymore.

Oh well, one thing at a time. Let's get me healthy and DH healthy then we can start on the kids, right? I think they call that living by example (whoever they are, damn them anyway :) ).

Ha ha ha, I am so funny!

So, yeah, it has not gotten any better since I got back. I got on the treadmill for 3 days and got a kidney infection. I knew it was coming.... But that has precluded me getting back on track. I currently have a UTI and I have determined it is not going to get me down. I have also changed my ideas for exercise. Instead of 30 minutes straight on the treadmill (which I have a hard time finding time for) I am going to get on the treadmill 3 times a day for 10 minutes each. I have found I push myself harder during these sessions, so maybe it will be better in the long run, who knows?

Why is this so hard? I have decided to go on the Slim-Fast diet because it just makes more sense than anything else right now, so I have determined to stick to it! It saves me from having to take more time to prepare meals and stuff, so it is much quicker and allows me to work my hours.

Anyway, yeah, so my goals are shot, but I am just going to refine them I guess. Its either that or quit completely, and I am not going there... again.

To my "followers" thanks for your support. It is so weird to me that people read this.

And I am back....

So, after a very long and emotionally draining trip to Texas, I have returned and am getting back on track. As we went with my parents, the whole trip seemed centered around food. The problem is the only meal I could "skip" was breakfast, and only then if we were in the hotel. If I don't eat my parents drive me INSANE. So I am sure that I am still working away that weight, rather than on the old weight I was working on before.

However, I did get back in the swing of things yesterday. I had stayed away from exercising right after I returned as I was having some sort of kidney problems, which is not unusual for me, I just deal with them, but I didn't want to make them any worse, so I just took it easy for a few days.

I did get on the treadmill for 15 minutes yesterday and 15 minutes already today! I will lift weights later, and hope to get back on treadmill after work.

My Valentine's day was good, we didn't do much, but that is pretty normal around here, and I was so exhausted that it was fine with me!

Anyway, back to work. I am not going to weigh this week, but I am going to get back on the wagon and I will be weighing in next Tuesday.

Going on a trip

As you may have noticed, I have fallen off the wagon with my posting. Well. I have really fallen off with everything. The week started out okay, but not great. I did okay on my "diet" but only got on the treadmill once.

However, on Wednesday I got word that my granddaddy had passed away and everything went to shit. I am greatful to my dh as he has been awesome, but I am moving in a fog. We leave for Texas tomorrow (Saturday), the funeral is Tuesday and we come home Wednesday. Hopefully I can get somewhat back on track by next weekend. This is my last computer access for almost a week, so please take care and all of that.

And the number is....

245.4. Dang it! Well, I am not shocked, and I know I will get there. It always seems that the more I diet the more stressful my life gets and that sucks! Oh well. I will get on the treadmill today after I finish work, pick up my daughter from cheerleading, and go to a meeting about an hour away. That will get me home at 10 and I can work out until 1045 or something. Lol. I have to keep telling myself that this is the life I have chosen to live, now I have to learn how to be healthy and live it.

More tomorrow!

Stress = Food

So, this weekend was mostly a bust, and I didn't work out today either. I have lots of excuses, but the fact is I just didn't and I should have. Tomorrow is my official weigh in and I am going to bet I am up rather than down. Oh well, I can't be perfect.

I have some serious stress in my life, and it is a day to day thing. I found that when I am with my parents, as I was this weekend, I eat a LOT more than usual. Add to that my grandfather is in a coma and dying, and we are trying to get together to go down to his funeral and sitting on pins and needles waiting for news, and my food intake goes WAY up.

On a positive note, I did work out on the Wii at my parents on Saturday and racked up 20 minutes of excercise. I decided that I want one as it would definitely help me vary my routine a little, and it was so much FUN! Crazy thing.

Anyway, I missed posting yesterday, and I think Saturday, but my days are all mixed up right now. So it is back to the program, with my best effort. I can do this and I CAN'T let life get in my way.

So 4 days in and I screw it up!

So today was my day off work. I didn't use the treadmill or weights on Wednesday, so I was going to do it today, but I got lazy. I would love to say I got too busy, but that is just not the truth. I had a lot of errands to do today and I am out of town right now, but I did have time in there to at least get on the treadmill, its only 20 minutes! But I got involved in my baby shows and just didn't do it. However, I did meet my goal of 3 days a week on the weights, so at least I have something, right?

So tomorrow it is back on the wagon! My mom has a Wii Fit and I am going to try that on for size at least while I am here. I guess if I do it for 30 minutes that might make up for the treadmill.

It has been tough trying to get into this in between my jobs, my kids, and my husband, but that is why my goal is only 25 pounds. I figure at that rate I will be done in a little more than 3 years, but it will probably take longer as somewhere along the line I want to have my tubes untied and have another baby. That is tenatively in the future, but no guarantees yet.

More tomorrow!

And we run....

So, I don't have a lot of time to post before dh comes back to see what I am doing, so I will just say that I went 1 mile on my treadmill in 23:31 today! I actually ran the equivalent of 1/10 of a mile in 2 parts! I am so excited.

I have done my weights once today and am getting ready to go do them again.

I am finding it hard to stay off the scale. I have always been the type to diet and weigh every day, but have learned that it is not the best thing for you, as weight fluctuates greatly from one day to the next, especially with women. So, I have said once a week and I will stick to once a week if it kills me! I cannot even go into the master bathroom because it looms there and starts screaming at me as soon as I walk in, so I am using the kids' bathroom for now.

That's it for today, I want to get my treadmill and weights in tomorrow so I can take the weekend off as I am going to see my parents and they don't have the workout equipment I do, as they sold theirs to me... Funny how that works?

Almost didn't make it....

Okay, so its almost 1 in the morning, and I was laying in bed with my dh and my pit (who was insistent on sharing my pillow) I realized I was only 3 days in and already not getting my goals done. I could not sleep knowing that, so here I am.

I did not do great today, I didn't drink any green tea (which is my water, unsweetened with lemon) and I did not exercise. However, I will definitely be getting back on both the weights and the treadmill tomorrow.

I think it is PMS time because I am just exhausted and really want to sleep. I try to keep track of that, but my body is just so strange some times that I can't predict what it will do. I know that is because of my weight. It seems that if I can just lose 10 pounds I can get everything sync'd again.

Anyway, I don't talk much here about my food so far because I just don't eat that much, but I know my diet goes against all conventional diet regimes. Right now, I am on a modified version of the Carbohydrate Addict's Diet because that is what works best for me. The problem is we are low on food and trying to get bills caught up in this tough economy, so my "no carb" foods aren't on the top of my priority list. I generally just don't eat right now until dinner time, my days consist of coffee with a shot of milk and no sugar and the aforementioned green tea. However, as springtime approaches we are planning a huge veggie garden, so that will be a big help! I just can't wait to get outside and get my hands in the dirt again. Wintertime is so hard on dieting!

Anyway, that's it for now, I will post again tomorrow, sometime when dh isn't looking as this is still a hidden blog.

And now the facts....

So, I said I would post my weight today. This is the first time in probably 5 years that I have let anyone know my weight other than my family doctor. The final starting weight is 244 pounds. Yes, that is HUGE! I am so sick about it. I will not weigh myself again until next Tuesday morning and we will see how far we get.

But, I got on the treadmill, walked 0.75 miles in 19 minutes, and then got on the weights and bench pressed about 35 pounds, give or take, which I know is not a lot, but I am not in it for the bulk, just the tone.

So, here's to my first goal, one blog a day!

At least my dog still loves me...

So, today I got on my treadmill and walked 1 mile. To anyone who is not struggling with weight and being in shape, this is probably not a big deal, but to me, it is. Let me introduce myself, I will go by Fluffy. I am a 33-year-old mother of 3 and a stepson who lives in the middle of nowhere Missouri and has been inspired by Dietgirl at dietgirl.org not to lose my weight (I started that journey already) but to be accountable to the millions (ha ha) of people out there who may come across this blog.

I am a medical transcriptionist. I work from my home (such as it is) and take care of the kids and the house. I rarely get out except to grocery shop or go see my parents, and that is where the trouble really lies. I always go shopping when I am hungry, and my parents, well, let's just say they aren't the best examples in the world. I got my eating habits from them and my sweet tooth as well.

I don't really know what to say, except that I am the largest person in my household and I am sick of it. My husband, bless him, does not know my weight, and does not ask. My children continue to tell me I am not fat, but my son gets asked at least once a year if his mom is pregnant. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I will not post my weight today, as I have not weighed, but what I will do is list some goals:

1. Weigh myself ONLY once a week and post it here for all to see.
2. Get on treadmill four times a week and lift weights at least three times a week.
3. Get OUT THERE and do something. I am a consultant for a line of food that is really yummy and not so bad for you, but I am such an introvert (although my friends would not agree) that it is hard for me to go out there and sell myself. I always say I am just too fat.
4. Lose 25 pounds by the end of this year. That is 2 pounds a month, give or take, and I hope to lose a lot more, but for now, this is the beginning.
5. Post here at least once a day, even if it is just a sentence.

So, for anyone out there with words of wisdom, encouragement or whatever, I am listening :D